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One for the Lads

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An ‘Average Bloke’s’ Coeliac Experience

Kiwi man Lewis Morgan admits he was “less-than-prepared” for his coeliac diagnosis. In fact, when he first heard about the growing popularity of gluten-free foods he thought: “Here comes another stupid diet craze.”

In the beginning . . . I’d just hit that magical mid-age number, 45 and went for a medical, so I could renew my Heavy Transport license. However, it wasn’t the bill of good health I was anticipating, the doc found I had very low iron levels – not ideal. After a battery of tests, a positive for Coeliac was revealed – and later a biopsy confirmed my diagnosis.

 All systems go . . .

Like many people, my first thoughts were to jump online, join a Coeliac Disease New Zealand Facebook page and basically research, research, research. What I uncovered was a raft of advice, that was confusing and sometimes contradictory.

The majority of coeliac posts seemed to come from women who were speaking a foreign language to me. I was left thinking, “OMG, I'm never going to be able to drink beer, eat chips, have pies, eat cheese again! How will I survive?”

The too-hard-basket . . .

So, after my poor online experience I kind of ignored the whole thing. I put it on the back-burner until after my endoscopy. On the way home from the hospital I asked my wife to head to McDonald’s for one final feed – the last supper – and then I went gluten-free.

The long and windy road . . .  

Knowing where to start when changing my eating, and bringing on board a whole new diet, was downright hard. The first two weeks I mainly opted for meat and potatoes because that seemed the simplest option – and they filled me up. My Coeliac NZ pack arrived in the nick of time (potatoes were making their way into my dreams), and I learnt how to read food labels. After that life became a little less cloudy.

Surviving those first two weeks . . .

Because I had to work away from home, I wound up hunting gluten-free options in an unfamiliar supermarket – a nightmare for anyone to navigate, let alone a coeliac! I specifically remember asking at the deli counter if their plain cooked chickens were prepared on the same surface as their stuffed chickens. I could see two guys beside me rolling their eyes and I knew what they were thinking: “Here’s some snowflake kicking up a stink about rubbish!” How do I know they were thinking that? Because I used to think the same! Funny what life throws back at you!

Just go with it . . .

My supermarket venture didn’t completely end in vain, I found some gluten-free bacon, some steak and potatoes, a loaf of bread, a selection of cereals and plenty of fruit. Although the bread tasted like dirt – gritty and tough – I found toasting it with melted cheese made it okay. (By this time, I’d discovered cheese was gluten-free – praise the Lord!)

The cereals were unpleasant – but I was hungry – so I added canned fruit to make it go down a little easier. I think I consumed more fruit in those two weeks than I had throughout my entire life!

Coming out the other side . . .  

A month on from my diagnosis and I’m doing much better. I’ve learnt how to read food labels (it’s really easy) and I don’t feel like an idiot anymore asking people about how they prepare their gluten-free food in restaurants and supermarkets.

Best of all, I think it’s making a difference to the way I feel. I’ve got more energy and get-go! Another plus, you’ll never guess . . . RUM is gluten-free! See, it’s not all doom and gloom!

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